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Wow...so...I'm back.

Posted on 2012.08.24 at 13:07
Current Mood: boredbored
I didn't even think I'd remember my logins for this site anymore, but I did.
I've found some awesome pages to follow, so I'll be using it more.

Posted on 2011.11.26 at 16:49
Current Mood: curiouscurious
Anyone still here??????????!

Never make a man a priority when he only makes you an option.

Posted on 2010.09.22 at 23:09
Current Mood: sadsad
You know, as long as this beast has been dead, it shouldn't hurt so much. But it does.

Corey Taylor, you are awesome.

Posted on 2010.09.21 at 12:09
Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Stone Sour-Home Again
You were my fire, so I burned... til' there was nothing left of me
I... I touched your face, I held you close... til' I could barely breathe
Why give me hope, then give me up... just to be the death of me
Save the rest of me...

Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate

Now... now and then, you come around, like there's something left for me
We were one... we were everything
I'm still here... but I'll just keep the rest for me

Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate

We never made it... you hesitated... I don't believe

That I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate
Cuz I see you, but I can't feel you anymore - so go away
I need you, but I can't need you anymore - you hesitate - hesitate

You were my fire, so I burned... now there's nothing left of me...

Posted on 2007.11.08 at 20:17
Current Mood: irritatedirritated
You know, I get really frustrated when he expects me to account for every time he doesn't know where I am.

I think it's the most important thing in the world to have your own time, that you don't have to tell to the other person.
I don't ask him who he was with and what he was doing when he goes to the bars for work(they're his clients) monday and tuesday. Why do I need to tell him who I was with and where I was ?? I sit at home and do squat all fucking week. I went to the bar for happy hour and he has to know where I was and what I was doing and who I was with.

Is it selfish or wrong for me to want to have SOME secrets to myself??? For fucks sake!

Posted on 2007.11.02 at 08:33
Current Mood: distresseddistressed
I don't know what to do about Kodi. He's always been a little wild because he never had formal obedience training, but it was a wild the family could deal with. Lately he's been wierd even for him, and I don't know what to do. He's been running out in the street(he never does this) and growling at my mom when she catches him. He's been jumping in her lap at night(he knows he's not invited on the furniture) and shaking like he's scared, and refusing to get down. She literally has to stand up and dump him out of her lap.

I'm stuck because realistically, my parents don't like him. My mom has been trying to get rid of him for 5 years. There's no way if I take him to obedience class that they'll work with him. It's stupid, but it's the truth. Even when I was trying to do little things around the house, they never enforced it(like making him sit and wait until I go through the door before he can come through, things like that)

So, I feel like a horrible person no matter what I do. He's not getting the attention/excersise he needs with us, but if I give him up, I feel like a shitty person too. How would you feel if everything you've known your whole life was gone and all of a sudden you were in a strange place, with strange people, never to see the people you're familiar with again?? Especially since that's what mom did to my cat, I can't do it again.

Am I being selfish?? Do you think he'd get over it? I mean, what the hell do I do??
He's supposed to live another 5 years at least, and it would be cruel to continue the way he is. He doesn't go out for walks, gets ZERO excersize, ZERO socialization. That's not living for a dog, at least to me.

And i want to make sure he's ok. I've looked into breed rescues, but if I do that then I have to do total surrender-i don't know what happens to him after I surrender him.

I don't know anyone whose both active enough and patient enough to deal with his behavioral issues.

I want him to be healthy and happy and as much as I know *I* love him, and he loves us, I don't think he can really be either in the current situation.

I can't bring him to the apartment to work with him-it's just not an option. I don't have the $500 for the pet deposit, and he and robert don't get along. They would, if they spent time togeather, but I'm 100% sure the neighbors wouldn't appreciate the noise from the "getting to know you" period.

What do you do when you can't keep a dog, but can't find a place for them to go????

Just thinking about this is giving me a headache. =/

anything ANYONE can suggest would be the most appreciated thing in the world.

Posted on 2007.06.09 at 19:02

Posted on 2007.06.05 at 05:36
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
I keep trying to think positivly-I keep telling myself he'll be pain-free, etc.

It's just so hard because he became such a community project. Everyone involved just loved him and pulled for him, and he seemed to be doing so much better.


I keep going back and asking myself" What if we hadn't pulled the shoes?" what if we'd done this, or this. Or if I'd gotten xrays when I very first got him if it would have made the difference.

Euthanized a horse is a horrible process because of their sheer size. Its a relatively peaceful process for the horse, but for people watching it's hard. They're given a sedative, and when that has taken effect(and this is the thing I don't like) they use a large needle to inject something that stops their heart. It would be so much easier if they could be trained to lay down first, because you have to go through the process of holding their head up when they go down. I think thats the hardest part is having to watch your friend crash to the ground, and you never know how they'e going to go down.


It would help too if the graves they dig were slanted-then you could just walk them down in it, put them down there, and cover them up. But theyre not. Once they're down, the backhoe comes in and pushes them in. I know at that point it will just be a body, but it still so hard to think of your animal being treated like that.

I really don't want to do this.

Posted on 2007.04.16 at 17:05
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
This has got to stop. Whatever it is about society that's making people think it's ok to walk in anywhere and kill people has got to change.

I'm not sure what it is, but this is a disease.

I think about these kids, terrified, witnessing things no one should see, and I think about the parents, the relatives, worrying and then getting the worst news,the most senseless thing, and this just breaks my heart.


What is wrong with people?

Here's the deal

Posted on 2006.05.27 at 06:12
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Ok, basically I've gone over and over it in my head, and this is the last decision in the world that I want to make. I'm bad at making them anyway, and the life of an animal should not be mine to say.

I talked to Mac last night and she mentioned this other horse we all loved, Jim. He also had foundered(although much more severe than Merlin) and she reminded me that when he foundered, he layed down alot.

Since they took alot of sole out this last time being shod, I'm wondering if it didn't shock his feet and he is foundering again. If so, I have no hesitation to go ahead and put him down. The recovery from founder is a long, careful process and he would just be in too much pain to undergoe it.

It sounds horrible, but I'm olmost hoping that's the case, because then the decision is out of my hands and made.

If it's the navicular, then the decision is still pending.So basically I want to get him to a vet and get x-rays done, like..two weeks ago. But, it's a holiday weekend and my usual vet is out of town.

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